she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
