As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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