theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
