put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Shame - the story of my life.
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