then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
