my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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