I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
