The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
