How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize