It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
