DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
