I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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