Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we're so committed to being not committed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
