In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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