I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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