i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Damn victory sex feels great
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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