meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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