This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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