i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
