I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wear drunk well.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
