just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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