Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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