They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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