did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Randomize