You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
