Having a random hookup so left but love u
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
