yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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