Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
