i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
