cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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