You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
birth control should be required to get into college
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize