i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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