I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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