you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have surprise drugs for everyone
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
