Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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