Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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