Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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