Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
