please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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