I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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