very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You dont lie about slip and slides
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize