Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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