I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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