he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
