oh god the rape fog is back!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
