I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
