I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
