My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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