my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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