you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
