I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
