I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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