I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
