He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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