I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
