i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
