once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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