first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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