Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
