Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
