Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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