ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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