Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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