Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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