so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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